Sunday, January 11, 2009

Food is a Four Letter Word

"Foie gras na naman!" Something I uttered as we dined out for the umpteenth time during the holiday season laden with rich food - steaks galore, desserts unlimited, feasts that rivaled a deathrow man's last meal.

I love rich food. Creamy, buttery, white sauces. Fat from the bellies of meat and fish. Food that melt in my mouth and settle in my hips. Lusciously textured, exotic food that explodes in my mouth like a flavor bomb - caviar, foie gras, anchovies, cheeses of the world. Deep, dark, bittersweet chocolate and its variation as mousses and ganaches. When the fat escapes from the meat into the plate or the frying fan, I chase after it and dribble the oil on my rice or bread. I love dark red wine and want it dry and complex. My kind of seafood cannot be considered healthy because I go after female, pregnant, fat crustraceans.

Who am I kidding? I like cheap food as well. Street food. Fake cheeses. Synthetic desserts that come in cellophane.

And when I'm hungry, physically as well as emotionally, any food will do.

I just love food.

It's a sensual, wondrous experience to dine and see, smell, and taste food.

Food makes me think of God and all that is glorious in this world.

Food excites, elates, energizes, entices, elevates.

I hate food.

It weakens. It fattens. It is accompanied by a nagging conscience that only gets heard after consumption.

I just want to write this here. I think this blog is not going to be your usual diet blog. I believe, and judging from this post it looks like it's true, that food is an emotional thing. So, I hope this blog will help me deal with the emotional issues that accompany eating disorders. I pray that figuring things out will help me come up with an action plan to bringing healthy back.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

10 Far Burning Foods

Stoke your metabolic fire and burn calories faster with diet-friendly foods and beverages. Post this list on your fridge next to the photo of you in your "skinny jeans" and make a copy to bring with you the next time you shop for groceries. Read more here.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Is it ironic? Or does it work out quite well that after the excessive partying and feasting of Christmas comes the repentant resolutions of the new year?

Well, I have tons to be repentant about. This 2008, I totally reneged on my promise to avoid white sugar and everything that contains it. I kicked the soda habit then took it up again with a vengeance. I've enjoyed all that nature, family, and restos have to offer by way of rich food. And my body is suffering for it. And showing it.

Tonight will be a double whammy - a dinner at Tita Moning's and Noche Buena at my mom's. There will be roast beef. And I will partake to the max. I feel like a condemned man having my last meal. Except that I've been having it for the last few months.

And 2009 looms like a scary life-will-end-when-desserts-go-away doomsyear. But it's no longer a vanity thing to want to be fit. I can't live with the fear anymore. This fear that springs up whenever I feel a tinge of body pain, or when I have to gasp for breath after climbing 5 steps. It's no longer about fitting into size 6 jeans again. It's a matter of early death and living life without the pain, the embarassment, the limitations that this girth brings me.

I know that something inside needs to change. A major attitude shift. I can't do this alone. I need faith and prayers. I need a vision. I need to be armed with knowledge. I need support. I need a strategy. Maybe, I hope, I pray this blog helps. It's a scary thing to do this. I'm terrified of the end of 2009 and seeing this blog with 5 entries and my body with 5 more pounds. But this can be both negative and positive reinforcement that I badly need. It would take a couple of clicks to delete this blog. But so much more than that to delete this belly and all the surplus fat attached to it.

This could be my most honest blog ever. The thought of eventually logging in my weight here gives me a psychosomatic headache and a real heartache.

We'll see how this goes. 2008 ends soon. May 2009 bring with it opportunity for positive change on a personal and even a world peace level. This has just got to work. So help me, God.